I think love really is a great part of my life. Truly more than what I estimate it to be. How is it possible? I haven't had a successful relationship as yet. Then why, everytime I get drunk do I find myself thinking about her. She brings out a form of frustration that seems to have become a deep rooted part of my life, and I'm truly afraid of the realization that I might never be able to get over her. I try and I try hard, to forget everything about her. I deleted her each and every picture that I once owned, deleted all her emails that either she sent to me or I sent to her, done everything possible to remove all that might remind me of her. I spend a few days and then think to myself, yes I'm finally over her. But isn't the thought about me being over her in itself an indication that I still remember her and long for her. My selfish desires prevent me from gettin over it. Ain't it? I know that I wont be able to find another one like her, for she is unique. The one and only. Life would be good but not the same without her. Isn't it? Mind is full of question at this point, but I know the answer to most of them. The only true solution, is to get over it. But the one question that still goes unanswered is "How?"
If time is truly the best healer, then why doesn't it seem to be working for me? Gosh, I know I would feel better tomorrow morning when the alcohol seeps out, but then why is it, that I don't want to feel better? Why do I want to stay adrift in this sensation which seems to inflict the harshest atrocities known! I don't know if love is beautiful or not but I do know that it hurts like hell!
It is as easy as that, sir... stand up and face the brute! You can't bury your head in the sand and pretend it never happened. You must stand up and accept that stuff happened in your life, and that you're now over it. Tell yourself that you're over it: that you've accepted it... and poof, it WILL be over.
ReplyDeleteHi jiwa,
ReplyDeleteMan it's like the love-bird in ya just don want 2 have rest!! so much on love within a few days.... :-O
U know ,i read ur prev. post abt ur failed-love but unlike others didn't like that! it's not 'cos u xpressed ur failure BUT the way it happedned!! :-((
Real Love cannnnnn't be so weak,so lousy,mannn!Truely, I felt one thing was missing in ur words & that's what i searched most .....PASSION! ur posts/words have everything BUT passion!!
Don take it as gyan/harsh comment....'cos it's me who experienced the BOTH passionless-love (that's 4 me more a crush than love)and later the passionate one!
And believe me,u can bear 'that' true feelings irrespective of whether it was reciprocated or not!
In other word,u needn't b forget/xpress-publicly the feelings..... if u reallly felt for her,rather give it a 'proper n precious' place in ur heart and just move on,just accept it's exsistence..give it's due place....i bet,it'll stop haunting you!
Love,specially failed-love is like a mouse-trap... more u wanna free urself , more it'll b tighten on u :-((
Jiwa,It's better to be 'loved and lost' rather never fall in love....
Best wish,Sagnik
P.S.- Being in a failed-love (it was my ONLY true n intense love...all others were just a crush/love-less affairs ) , i know it's very sensitive topic....so don take my words otherway....and u've all right to disagree with me...:-)
ReplyDeleteNow bye
I dont i can comment on something i've never felt..love that is, so i'll just say..take care and believe that even if u might require some more time than usual, u will emerge stronger than ever.
ReplyDelete@Black King,
ReplyDeleteYa I know, that is what I do. But then there are times and you can't deny it. Sumtimes it does take a lot :)
@Sag_Nik,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lengthy comment and analysis :)
You are absolutely right about the post titled "My First", yes it couldn't have been love. But I guess you missed something important there. You missed the reasoning I provided as to why it happened. But however the other thing is that it was intense and very. Loussy proposal? Gosh, I saw that coming :) Hey be fair, I was just 18-19 at the time and as said earlier, it was my first. The other thing is, that not all of us are good at communicating the inner feelings well, thus the lack of passion. Also not to forget the nervousness :)
However sir, this post is not about the relation you read about in "My first" This is the one that came in later. And trust me, it had everything that you think it didn't.
For god's sake, it developed over 3years time :) so I know what Im talking of!
Cheers dude
@Neeraja,
ReplyDeleteThanks! But as mentioned in the post, the moment the alcohol seeps out, I start feeling better and almost alien to whatever was written in the post. So trust me, I'm good :)
#Jiwa:Sorry if my 4 my comments on lack-of-PASSION hurts ya :-)
ReplyDeleteohh..it was a 3-yr-long realtion!!...then again am right at my point dost....why u wanna forget it?? only 'cos it's over???
It's not done!....u'll able 2 start a new realtion sucesfully only when u accept it!
C'mon ur rather a lucky chap 4 having such realtion, atlst for sometimes....that most of us crave for ...
Cheers :-)
By the way,do ya now in India?
Hey, I feel you! The heart is broken, but it continues to beat, because it must. I think it takes time and strength to mend a broken heart. But it can never be the same again.
ReplyDeleteTake care!
Chao
@Sag_Nik,
ReplyDeleteNo, you didn't hurt my feelings at all. I wonder what makes you think so? In that very post, I had myself mentioned as to how very loussy my proposal was. I know it lacked it passion but then again im not very good at communicating my inner self :)
Now I don't really know if I'm lucky or not, but if you say so :)
I'm not in India at present, if that is what you asked! :)
@Chao,
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks for being able to feel it. Now that only makes me feel better :)
Thanks for dropping in at my blog, and liking the post!!