Heights of immaturity...
I am sitting with my physics course book trying to read what’s scribbled under the heading "young’s double slit experiment”. I have my physics semester major tomorrow morning but not even such an important exam would stop my thoughts from drifting away into a fantasy world.
A few hours pass by in the above fashion and now I am not even trying to read what’s written in that book because the idea about imagining me with a girl is too overwhelming. A girl for whom, I have started to have some serious feelings off lately. I try my best to push her out of my head and focus on the book but all in vain.
Consequently, I decide to take a break so as to gather my disintegrating willpower & try make myself understand the gravity of situation. Hence I start strolling in the verandah of my hostel where I realize that it has just struck midnight & I am left with at the most 4-5 hours to pull off tomorrow morning’s exam. To make matters worse I had not scored much in my minors therefore now it was all the more important to study well in order to clear the exam tomorrow. Thus with a strong resolve to focus only on physics I march towards my room.
As I enter my room I find my other roommates totally engrossed with their books but with the exception on this one friend of mine (our very own bEAST, yes the owner of this very blog). He too wasn’t studying like me but for different reasons. I felt somewhat better that at least there existed someone as stupid as me. I head towards him & ask "kitna padh liya" & his reply was an amazing relief because he too hadn’t studied anything more than me, to be precise we had studied almost nothing .I was too glad to find a "partner in crime".While talking to him I see this audio cassette lying on his bed, picking it up I find it’s the cassette of Marc Anthony’s new album "mended”. It was the same album which my "partner in crime" had been listening to for the last couple of weeks, reason of course had to be "unrecruited love".foolishly, I decide to take a taste of this music.
Little did I know that this was going be one of the biggest mistakes of my life...
So before I realize I am out in the verandah once again with earphones in my ears & that cassette in the walkman. How quickly the next 3 hours passed away was totally unbelievable. I lost all sense of time along with my intentions of studying physics. I spend next 3 hours wandering in an absolute imaginative territory whose boundaries were created by feelings which had been troubling me since evening.
Some lines from the cassette like...
"When I think of you, I am not alone"
"Do you believe in loneliness...I do now because that’s where I found & I am never letting you go"
"I love the way you smile when I look in your eyes"
"When u sleep I watch u breathing, when u dream I dream with you, everyway you are is where I wanna be"
"Can't believe she can't see that she's taking the best part of me"
It kept me confided well within the boundaries of that unknown territory where I was wandering aimlessly. I can easily say I felt every damn emotion which can be or could be ever associated with the word "love”. Finally when I had felt it all, when there was nothing more left to imagine, nothing left to explore...a sense of satisfaction filled my thoughts, a sense of satisfaction which can be termed equivalent to an "achievement not achieved”. Satisfied with my unachieved achievement I went to bed.
I wake up the next morning only to see my roommates revising for the exam that awaited us in a couple of hours. I too thought of revising but what could have I revised, certainly wasn’t in any mood to revise "Marc Anthony".
I write the exam where I spent much less time answering questions as compared to the time spent in cursing my last nights feat. An hour into the examination & I knew my fate. I had safely secured my 1st back in engineering.
After coming out of the examination hall I went straight to my “partner in crime” & asked him "kaisa hua exam???", he says…"fail ho jaaongan" to which I replied "me too" and then we just hugged each other for god knows what.
Some 3 weeks later…
Results came out & as expected I secured an 'E' grade (bole toh FAILED) in physics, I was obviously disappointed but then there wasn’t much I could do now. But the most consoling factor was that my "partner in crime" too managed to secure 'E" grade in physics & hence we stayed "partners in crime".
Somehow I feel that this post would be incomplete without the song that touches my heart. Thus I'm inserting it below. I would like to write a follow up post about the things that were happening in my life at the same time but avoiding it right now, as I think it makes the whole thing very monotonous. But do keep on the lookout for it, as it will be comming your way sooner than you expect!
Song: She mends me..
Singer: Marc Anthony
Album: Mended
:)
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